I was hoping to post every day, because I never want to forget this new experience that is called college.  Instead, I’ll post when I can, but more often than I used to.

Unfortunate circumstances:

• My grandfather has been diagnosed with prostate cancer.
• My mother found out she has a bone disease bacteria (?) in her bottom jaw.  She’ll have to have her bone scraped.
• My dad has the same thing, but on both his upper and lower jaw.
• My dad also has lupus and rheumatoid arthritis or something like that.

August 23rd.

Class 1: Design 1.  9:30 - 11:45.

I already knew that Sarah S. was in this class.  I came in, sat down, and expected her.  This class felt bigger and more cramped than my MW art class. I felt rather uncomfortable.

She walked in, and as she passed behind me she said hey; I turned around and said hi.  She said, “I thought it was you.  I could tell from the back.” Then, she continued to an empty seat.

Things with us are so awkward, it’s terrible.  I wish we could just start over but I know that I can’t stand most of her.

Well, anyway, Lisa just talked about what our class would be doing, material list, etc. etc. 

After class, I had planned to ask her about what I would need to do for my art grant work.  It seems another student, Tanner, also needed to ask her, as he asked just before I did. She gathered all of the grant students in the room after class and assigned some of us different areas.  I was assigned to the ceramics room, and was told to speak to Val later that day, after my next class.

Lunch: Today, I had made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  I went to sit in my car to eat, because I wasn’t sure where else I should… leaving the building, I passed by a girl and well, we passed glances and I smiled at her, because that is the least awkward thing to do, I suppose. I went to my car. Well, she passed by again, I suppose she was going back to the building, and she saw me in my car nibbling my sandwich, which wasn’t actually that good. 

The girl came up to my car, and introduced herself: Emily.  She told me her and a few of her friends were meeting for lunch in building B and asked if I would like to join her.  I told her yes and she said she would be there shortly.  She walked away and my heart almost burst! That was one of the kindest things anybody has done for me!

My next class was in building A (far away from my usual building F/building D classes!) so I drove to building B and ditched my pb&j sandwich. 

I was introduced to her boyfriend, Cody, and a few other people. I ate some animal crackers that they were handing out in small cups, and talked to them a bit. The time passed too quickly, and I had to go on to my next class. 

Class 2: Sociology. 1:00 - 2:15.

This class was… amusing.  I have several ghetto-esque people in my class.  They were crackin’ us up, it was great.  I sat in front of Bridjet, one of the few students here that are from my high school.  

5 minutes passed… 10 minutes passed… 15 minutes passed………………………

No teacher.

The ghetto-esque peoples went out for a cigarette and such, and made quite a bit of noise in the hallway, causing a lady to come into our class and ask if the teacher had shown yet.  She went off to find him.  Several minutes passed, and the students returned and were surprised that the teacher still had not shown.  A SECOND lady came in and “watched” us… for some reason… and told us that usually the rule of thumb is that if the teacher doesn’t show after 15 or 20 minutes, then we may leave. 20 minutes were already passed.  A THIRD lady showed up and told us that we could leave.  So… I left. 

Back to building F.

Art grant work: 

I was going to just walk into the ceramics room, but it seemed like there was a class going in… a lady walked out of the room and into the bathroom and I decided I would ask her about it when she returned.

She did, and I asked if Valerie was around or something of that sort.  She told me she was Valerie and I told her that I was supposed to find Valerie for my art grant work.

We walked into the ceramics room and stood against the counter until Lisa was done talking.  I learned a lot about the ceramics room from listening her, which would surely help me with future work I had to do in there. Finally, she finished.  Valerie taught me how to clean the clay off of the wedging table.  That’s pretty much all I did that day, though. 

I learned that there’s nothing wrong with being shy, but if you don’t step out of your comfort zone you might miss out on many friendships and opportunities.

August 22nd.

Class 1: 2D Design. 1:00-3:15.

I walk in 15 minutes early and I’m the 3rd one in the class. I walk in about the same time as the 2nd girl. I asked her if I could sit next to her, and she said yes. Her name is Allison, and she told me it was nice to meet me.  I hope I sit by her again tomorrow. She seemed cute. 

In between classes:  I ate at Wendy’s because I was meeting Sarah L. at the art store to buy some of my art supplies.  They are so darn expensive, it’s awful.

2D Design seems like it focuses a lot on critique and elements and principles of design.  I don’t quite look forward to the critique, being as shy as I am, but I’m sure it won’t be as bad as it seems right now.

Class 2: Concepts of Mathematics. 5:00-6:15.

A test on the first day! Talk about nerves!  Thankfully, halfway through the test, I started remembering things, but I was so stressed in the beginning that I couldn’t think straight, and I haven’t had math for over a year!

I should also mention that this is a distance learning class.  The teacher is in the town that I live in, teaching on the tv, and we can see the students in the other 2 classrooms. So, he teaches 3 classes in different towns all at once.

After we turned in our test, he told us it was just to let us know if we would struggle in the class or not. I am certain I got enough right, so I didn’t worry after that. 

Dear Daddy,

I love you and I think that you’re an amazing man.  I wouldn’t be who I am today if it was not for you and your impact on my life.

Yesterday, my mom told me that my dad wants to move out… due to the way my brother and sister treat him.  I’m 17.  My brother is 15 and my sister is 9.  I’m moving out soon but they don’t know that.  I am scared for what will become of my dad, if he has to only live with those 2.  He is disabled and therefore unemployed, and spends most of his time in or around the house.  My brother calls him lazy.  He isn’t.  He has done many wonderful renovations to our house and built the deck around our pool.  He remodeled 2 main rooms and also expanded to one of our bathrooms.  He is a former exterminator so he makes sure no bugs are at our house!  He also fixes our cars when they need to be fixed… and I’m thankful for that, because of the accident I got in a few weeks ago!  My car was not drivable but now it is.

My daddy is bipolar and lives off of pain pills due to the incredible amount of back pain he goes through every day.  He also grew up with a terrible childhood.  He has two main personalities… the silly, nice, playful one that likes to talk a lot and is kind of annoying but in a good way, and that shows us lots of love… and the mean, yelling, scary one…    The latter usually comes out when he can’t stand the pain that he’s in.  I don’t blame him.  I’m the same way when I get my monthly cramps!

Yet… Somehow, my brother fails to understand this.  He only cares about himself anyway, my brother does.  He doesn’t care about the rest of his family very much.  (Unless he wants something, that is.)  He hurts my dad’s feelings and says rude things to him in front of my brother’s friends… it embarrasses him.  My sister usually wants nothing to do with him… but she is a little b*tch anyway and I’m afraid what will become of her.

I just really feel bad for my dad.  What with college and work, I don’t see him very much.  Last night, before I went to bed, I went into my dad’s room and laid next to him and our dog.  He woke up and I told him I made cupcakes for him.  I had to leave after though, because I was going to cry.  I love him and even though he’s not perfect he doesn’t deserve the pain my siblings put him through.  They need to show him love.  My brother practically disowns him and says mean things to him a lot to me… I defend him most of the time though.  It just isn’t fair to him.

I love my dad and hope my siblings treat him better because I don’t want him to leave.

He doesn’t have anywhere else to go.

I’m just like everybody else. Sometimes, I don’t know why I’m alive. And sometimes, I don’t want to be.  I enjoy self infliction when I’m an emotional wreck. But don’t worry, I don’t cut myself.

Sometimes, I just hate every. single. effing. thing about me.

And I hate this world.

I’ll feel better tomorrow or next week.

love you Brandon.

* Day 1 — Your Best Friend
* Day 2 — Your Crush
* Day 3 — Your parents
* Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
* Day 5 — Your dreams
* Day 6 — A stranger
* Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
* Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
* Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
* Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
* Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
* Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
* Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
* Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
* Day 15 — The person you miss the most
* Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
* Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
* Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
* Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
* Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
* Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
* Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
* Day 23 — The last person you kissed
* Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
* Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
* Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
* Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
* Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
* Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
* Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

michellevanpang:

So here’s the deal, since Chinese New Year is around the corner I thought I’d do a Chinese New Year Giveaway! I’m going to be giving away 2 red envelopes. Both envelopes contain a different amount of money, the winner who answers me first will get to choose either the one on top, or the one on the bottom. And if you were wondering, no you don’t have to be Asian to qualify.

LIKE and REBLOG as many times as you want! The more reblogs, the better chance you have. Please enable your ask boxes, if you don’t have an ask box and you happen to win, I will choose someone else!

9th grade.

English I.

Mrs. Boden.

Romeo and Juliet essay.

My paper was used as an example for the proper use of a semicolon.

So proud *_*.

In that last post of New Years for my boyfriend! Sooo. Expect mores, dear, expect mores (;.